Life has been different in 2020. I keep saying, “In March, the world shut down.” Or, “Please come visit us when the world opens back up.” However we state it, the world changed in 2020. Alongside COVID, there has been increased financial hardship, the continual rising of racial violence, fractions along political lines, and so many hateful things being said daily. It’s just too much. For some, all of it has been consistently difficult. Some of us have lost loved ones and grieve alone. For others, there are times when the shut down felt like a much needed slow down. We have all had so many experiences in 2020. As the COVID waves continue, politics are at a crescendo, restrictions are reinstated, and racial issues aren’t being deeply addressed, many of us are feeling crushed by the weight of it all. We all feel it at different levels as we have different circumstances and experiences. And, we are ALL feeling it. We feel isolated, disconnected, tired, and longing for things that are not currently possible. It’s too much.
In “normal” times, as we move through life, we all get beat up to some degree by relationships. No matter the depth or amount of that, we all walk around with some version of the following lies:
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I’m not good enough. If I was, so-and-so would have loved me.
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I’m too much. That’s why everybody leaves me.
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I’m not worth being taken care of. If I was, somebody would have taken care of me by now.
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I can’t trust anyone but myself. My family (friends, ex, etc.) taught me that.
Those lies follow us. They color the way that we see the world. And they simultaneously do two things. They significantly increase our shame and they steal the truth of our innate worth. For many of us, the particulars of 2020 life are triggering past hurts and traumas. It’s as if the whole world now feels a bit like that dysfunctional (or abusive) family system or those relationships that chewed you up and spit you out. So, those lies get bigger. The shame gets louder. And, our worth is hidden from our own souls.
There are many things that are within our responsibility to do in order to combat those lies. Though the lies were planted without our permission, it is our adult responsibility to eradicate them and deepen into who we were created to be. A lot of this work is done through personal study or in safe therapeutic situations. And, we are the ones that have to do that hard and life-long work.
There is another way that those lies can be confronted. That is in safe community. We can support each other by reminding each other of our worth. We cannot do the work FOR each other. And, we can SUPPORT each other in this most important work.
So, that brings us to #knowyourworthnovember. Here is my challenge to all of us…let’s spend the whole month reminding those around us that they have deep and immeasurable worth. Friends, family, acquaintances and maybe sometimes strangers. Every day of November, I am going to post ways that you can intentionally support those around you and hopefully help them to deepen into the truth of their own worth. Just a reminder that we are not in charge of people’s responses. We can’t make anyone see their worth or believe what we tell them. That doesn’t mean we don’t tell them! In life, we are in charge of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We are in charge of how we engage with those around us. So, don’t engage with this challenge in order to change someone else or make them do whatever it is that you think they “should” do. That is NOT what this is about. This is about holding a mirror up to those around you and reminding them of the unshakeable truth of their worth. Nothing else.
You do not have to wait for my posts to find ways to reflect worth into the world around you. You are a creative human. Come up with your own. I am positive that you all will come up with ideas that I never would have thought of, that will blow my mind with their amazing-ness.
You do not have to do something every day of the month. You may actually be far too busy for that. Just do what you can when you can. Maybe try to stretch yourself just a bit. Sometimes we can hide in the busyness. Or don’t do anything at all. Some of you are in seasons of great need and don’t have capacity to reflect to anyone else right now. That is brave to admit. To be open to receiving. My hope is that you all are on a lot of our lists and you are inundated with reminders of how much you are worth.
Please invite others into this challenge. Share. Post. Encourage them to reflect worth in their worlds as well. Again, this year has been rough on so many levels. The fact that I am starting this days before the election is intentional. The world needs healing and reconnection. We need more kindness and love. We need to remind each other of who we were created to be, which is the place of our deepest worth.
I am excited to embark on this journey together. If I’m honest, I hope it spreads like wildfire. Wouldn’t that be something?
Onward ~ Berrylin