(NOTE: This Writing includes Faith portions.)
There is a song by Matt Nathanson called, “Room at the end of the world.” It was a favorite of mine a long time ago. And, lately it has become a favorite for a new reason. The lyrics say this:
If the sun don’t light
And the night won’t turn
We’ll get a room at the end of the world
And we’ll rewrite all the wrongs we’ve learned
Safe in our room at the end of the world
When I hear those lyrics now, I think about our current life. Who in the world closes a full private practice, sells a home in East Nashville, sells both cars, and moves across the ocean in the middle of a global pandemic?! Now, to be fair, we didn’t know when we made all the plans that a pandemic would be upon us. So, even without that, it sounds a little crazy. And, here is the truth…
We did it because we were CALLED to do so. We knew it was the next absolute step in our development as individuals and as a family. The circumstances around this particular dream coming to light were so obviously God that it was blinding. And, we needed that experience of God being so direct because the process of getting here took us to the brink numerous times. Hard is not a full enough word to describe the process from dreaming to settling in this precious new country. And, the hard did not stop there. The year has been full of challenges and heartbreak. The painful at times this year has been bigger than the joyful. And, yet, the joy is still always present. I don’t know that I will ever fully understand how that works.
So, Berrylin, what exactly does this have to do with that song? Good question.
As we sit in the space of Gratitude and Grieving, we do so from our own little room at, what feels like, the end of the world. When we look out over the North Sea, and receive all the breath, peace and wisdom that it bestows, we feel in our souls those lyrics. Even when the sun doesn’t light, when the night doesn’t turn, we are re-writing our stories. We are learning, healing, dreaming, fighting, receiving, resting, loving and grieving together in a truly little room at the end of the world.
I DO NOT have a 5 step process for how you can do the same. I will say this though…God is WITH you…FOR you…and ready to listen to your heart. Yes, every single thing that is in your heart. Then, God will reveal. Sometimes that process takes WAY too long. Add that to the long list of things I do not understand. But, the revelation will come. And, when it does, I encourage you with my whole soul to dig deep and step into all the scary things. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will you feel sure of yourself the whole way through? NO. Will you doubt pretty consistently along the way. YES. And, the whole entire thing is still absolutely worth it.
I do not know how long this Room at the End of the World season will be for our little family. I have no idea what is next. And, I don’t want to know right now. (Well, most of the time I don’t.) I am be-ing in the everyday that we have. And, working to heal-to-trust that what is next will come when it does. Just like this did. And, the gift of this is more than my soul knew was possible.
May your journey be open to whatever worlds you are being called to. And, may you both have the courage and the support around you to say yes when the call comes. 💕